in response to a kathy acker essay, you can read it here
First got stuck at the language of the body --- made me tell you to imagine your body as conduit for soil, I don't wanna hurt it, think that applies to not much, think sweat applies to skin like that; think breaks in muscles, breaks in bonds, are enough. Then it was about geo, about blood, about something luminous, the amount of full illumination (still talking shit to myself), things I’m not allowed to understand because I’ll get bored. She doesn’t speak of flowers but she speaks of growth, of the ordinary, to destruct. Did you know that all the petals of a flower are called a corolla, do you know what happens if you crush them (to crush or to crash with palms).
So what is it about the strangeness of flowers, what is more common --- a r-o-s-e or a dipped head tulipa (desire to be more scientific). She asks ‘have you ever marvelled at someone’, maybe a few times in the last year, last few weeks, ‘count me out because I can’t not look at you that way’.
What are you counting on, what reps – repetition of time spent in the sun (solarium or solar luminosity --- a unit of radiant flux) or weight (we said this was heavy). I read the bold text, glimpse of chaos, controlled gestures, but chaos and violence aren't always the same (although you will have known and caused both in some small way, like me).
The last thing you marvelled at was unlikely yourself, but if it was, what were you wearing, did it feel good, did you touch at your face or stand back and speak something real quiet, was someone else in the room, did you ask them to look at you? Surely you’ve done that before, I hope.